A Murder on Monster Street
by Alan Sanborn
(copyrighted by Alan Sanborn, Oct. 2003)

(Ebeneezer Scurge enters his graveyard to find a group of trick-or-treaters there.)

Ebeneezer
Good Evening, kids and Happy Hallowe’en.   My name’s Ebeneezer Scurge and 12 years ago tonight, I was a miser who hated Hallowe’en!   Then the Ghosts of Hallowe’en Past, Present, and Future turned me around!  I’ve been a fan of Hallowe’en ever since but I don’t see many Trick-or-Treaters in the graveyard so I’m afraid I’ve got no treats for you.  Of course, I could sing you a song.  Let’s see here…

(Scurge is interrupted by two men cutting through his cemetery, Dr. Frankenstein and The Invisible Man, the latter covered from head to toe so not a bit of him is visible.)

Dr. Frankenstein
Please!  Don’t start singing yet, Mr. Scurge.   Just let us get through.

Ebeneezer
Is that you, Victor?   Kids, this is Dr. Victor Frankenstein (he whispers) who brought the famous monster and his bride to life!    And who’s your friend, Victor?

Dr. Frankenstein
This is Dr. Griffin, better known as the Invisible Man.  (The Invisible Man mumbles behind his bandages.)   He says he’s pleased to meet you.    We’re returning from the annual Mad Scientists Convention.    We went with Dr. Jeckyl but he disappeared and some bore named Mr. Hyde took his seat at dinner!  Who invited HIM, I have no idea!

Ebeneezer
Uh, yeah.  How’d the convention go otherwise?

Dr. Frankenstein
Not so great.    I brought along a corpse from the cemetery so I could demonstrate my skills at reanimating dead tissue for my peers but before I could do my experiment, SOMEONE (with an angry look at the Invisible Man) injected the body with invisibility fluid so I couldn’t see it to reanimate it!  Very disappointing.

Invisible Man
(Mumbling) Sorry.

Ebeneezer
So you’re going through Dracula’s crypt? You know, heading to (Lightning flashes and thunder rolls) Monster Street?

Dr. Frankenstein
Well, yes, I’m heading to my castle, of course.  Dr. Griffin is just cutting through on his way to Mad Scientist Lane.   He lives between Dr. Jeckyl and the Fly. (The Invisible Man grumbles unintelligibly but angrily.)   How rude! We can’t all live on Monster Street!

Ebeneezer
Maybe you could take these kids with you.  I think they’re looking for some good trick-or-treating and all I’ve got is body parts.

Dr. Frankenstein
Oooh!  Can I have some?  (Scurge shoots him a look.)   Well, I have no time to deal with children.  I have important business at the castle! (He grins) Frankie’s bride is making donuts!

(Dr. Frankenstein knocks on Dracula’s crypt door. )

Ebeneezer
(To the kids)   Monster Street is a special neighborhood where all the really famous monsters live.   See, Dracula lives in Transylvania and the Mummy lives in Egypt and the Phantom of the Opera lives in Paris.   But if you go out any of their backdoors, they ALL live on Monster Street.  The only way to get there is through one of their houses.  You’re in luck.    This is Dracula’s Autumn crypt right here in this cemetery.

( Dracula answers.)

Dracula
Ah, the good doctor!   And the Invisible Man, isn’t it?   Come through quickly.   I’ve got a big costume party to crash!

(They go through and as Dracula goes to close the door, Scurge approaches him.)

Ebeneezer
Excuse me, Dracula?    Do you think it might be possible for these kids to go Trick-or-Treating on (lightning and thunder again) Monster Street?

Dracula
Ah yes, the little freeloaders who want candy but won’t even open a vein for a thirsty old count.   Very well, go through.   I’ll see if I can find some treats.

Ebeneezer
Ah, let me sing you a little song about Monster Street.

Dracula
Uh, after I leave, okay Mr. Scurge?

(Ebeneezer sighs and motions for the kids to follow Dracula into the crypt.)

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