Ebeneezer
Now, what do you suppose they meant by “Who Died?”

Dracula
Let’s think about the clues. Why did the Invisible Man undress in my crypt?

Bride One
We may have helped him along with that a bit.

Bride Two
We’d never seen an invisible man before.

Bride Three
And then we couldn’t find him to bite him!

Wolfman
I think he died in the crypt.  His body was dragged to it’s final position. I could smell it on the ground.

Phantom
So perhaps one of your brides knifed him in the dark, Dracula!

Hunchback
I can’t even have my Esmerelda and he has three brides!  Not fair!

Wolfman
(Sniffing)   No, not stabbed in Dracula’s crypt. He’d been dead for quite awhile!

Phantom
What do you mean, Wolfman?   If the Invisible Man had been dead quite awhile, he could scarcely have walked into Dracula’s crypt!

Mummy
Oh, I don’t know.  I’ve been dead a VERY long time and I walk wherever I please.

Frankie
If the killer dragged his body there, you all must have seen him.

Mummy
Not if the person dragging the invisible body was ALSO invisible!

Dr. Frankenstein
Of course, that’s it!    I took a body that was already dead to the Convention to reanimate.   The Invisible Man injected it with his invisibility serum.  He must have dragged the body all the way back with him without my noticing.

Voice of the Invisible Man
Very good, Doctor. It took you long enough.

(Dr. Frankenstein is knocked out.  A blunt object floats in the air.)

Hunchback
Aaah!  It’s the ghost of the Invisible Man!

Bride of Frankenstein
You idiot!   That IS the Invisible Man!  He’s still alive.

Ebeneezer
You dragged the invisible body from the convention to fake your own death.   But why?

Invisible Man
To make you afraid!  To get even with you for never letting ME live on Monster Street!

Phantom
But Monster Street is only for the MOST famous monsters.   Like those who got their pictures – on postage stamps.

(Dracula, Wolfman, Phantom, Mummy, and Frankie all hold up their framed postage stamp pictures and grin.     Hunchback lets out a dreadful wail.)

Phantom
Oh, I’m sorry, Quasi!  I keep forgetting you did not get a postage stamp!

Song for the Invisible Man

(The Invisible Man begins to sing and, as he does so, he puts his clothing on.)

Verse One

Invisible Man
All you monsters think you’re so important,
So much better than the rest.
You never welcome in outsiders,
So convinced that you’re the best.

Freddy, Jason, Michael Myers,
All are huge but you don’t care.
As long as they stay put on Elm Street
And I say it isn’t fair!

Chorus One

I’m a famous monster too!
Everybody’s heard of me!
My blackmail secrets all were true!
I laid them out for all to see!

Mr. Hyde, King Kong, The Fly
Are all as good as your elite.
The Creature from the Black Lagoon
Deserves a place on Monster Street!

Verse Two

I wanted to shake up your world,
To put some turmoil in your scene;
To play a little monstrous prank.
What better night than Hallowe’en?

The corpse from Dr. Frankenstein
Was just the thing to pull my trick.
And now I think you must agree:
Like all true monsters, I’m quite sick!

Chorus Two

I’m a famous monster too!
Everybody’s heard of me!
Now, I’ve made my point to you!
They say the truth will set you free.

One last bit of advice I’ll give.
No one loves the power elite.
You couldn’t PAY me now to live
With all of you on Monster Street!

Wolfman
 (Spoken) You can move in my place if you like.

Invisible Man
Really?  Deal!  I’ll go get my things. (He leaves)

Phantom
Nothing like a man who sticks to his convictions!

Dracula
That was very nice of you, Wolfie!

Wolfman
Not really.  I’m out all night and during the day, Larry Talbot will have to deal with him.

Mummy
I really don’t believe I was poorly mummified.

Frankie
And we can fight less, right honey?  (The Bride looks at him and screams.  He beams.) That’s my girl!

Hunchback
And we really are monsters!

Ebeneezer
Of course you are.   And so’s the Invisible Man.   You know how I know?    Because if all of you were normal people, you’d have been dead and gone decades or even centuries ago.   But here you all are – on Monster Street.   Which reminds me.   We have to go.

Death
You can leave Monster Street through Hell. It has exits everywhere. The Devil doesn’t need to know.

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